Building Relationships By the Book

Some Key Scriptures on Building Relationships:


GENESIS 2:18 (nrsv). It is not good that the man should be alone.

Adam was in a garden full of all kinds of joys, and enjoying a precious oneness with his Creator - but something was still missing. We are wired for relationships.


PROVERBS 31:10 (cev). A truly good wife is the most precious treasure a man can find!

The principle applies to both male and female - the importance of the choice of a life mate.

Here are some thoughts from Michael Smalley on choosing the right spouse.


PROVERBS 5:8 – Stay away from a bad woman! Don’t even go near the door of her house.

Principle – don’t put yourself in a compromising situation.

This article by Steve Demetrician applies the teachings from Proverbs to moral situations facing teenagers today.


PROVERBS 13:3 – Those who guard their mouths preserve their lives; those who open wide their lips come to ruin.

The Bible (Old Testament and New Testament) is full of advice on the importance of being slow to speak - being careful to think before we talk. Today we would say the same about "guarding our fingers" - being careful what we type in e-mails, instant messages, text messages and other forms of electronic communication.

Here are some more thoughts on "the power of the tongue."


PROVERBS 26:20 – For lack of wood, the fire goes out and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.

Remember - gossip refers not only to spreading lies - it refers to passing along damaging stories, even if true.


PROVERBS 27:17 – Just as iron sharpens iron, friends sharpen the minds of each other.

How important to find friends who make you a better person! This article by Denise Klomp describes how using a prayer partner can be a way of "iron sharpening iron."


COLOSSIANS 4:5-6 Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive.

Although our closest friends must represent strong values, nevertheless we will have the opportunity to influence many people - including non-Christians. Your "gracious and attractive" conversation may be a better influence than the most talented preacher!


ROMANS 12:18 If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

In many relationships, there is only so much you can do - but this Scripture reminds us to do what we can! Gary Smalley calls this "The Power of One" (see more on this concept here).

The ancient Christian writer Origen (185-254 A.D.) comments: "Our mind should always be ready for peace...the blame for any discord should lie with the other side and not with us. There are times when this command cannot be applied; for example, we cannot have peace and fellowship with evil. It is one thing to love people but quite another to love crimes."

Notice that the very next verse has to do with letting God settle all scores: "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God; for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.'" (Romans 12:19)

On this verse, Origen comments: "If we avenge ourselves, there is not much we can do apart from demanding an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth, or else insulting others as they have insulted us. But if we reserve these things to the vengeance of God, he will without doubt punish them far more severely than we ever could."


MORE PROVERBS...There are many helpful proverbs besides the ones we looked at on Sunday. Check out these proverbs for more wisdom on building relationships by the book:

Proverbs 5:9, 5:15, 6:30, 6:32, 10:12, 11:12-13, 11:17, 12:4, 12:25-26, 13:24, 14:30, 15:1, 15:4-5, 15:17, 16:28, 17:9, 17:14, 18:22, 19:8, 21:9, 21:19, 25:24, 27:10, 31:30.